Off from work: Day 1

I am taking a hiatus from working. A little less than 2 months, hoping to explore different things this time.

I have a stack of books that I have been meaning to read, sitting in my bedroom begging to be opened, asking me to get lost in the pages. I love words, reading them, writing them. I can’t paint or maybe I can, I can see pictures painted with words and I love to paint these pictures for myself and others. I just have to work on remaining mindful of the words that I use to paint my pictures. After all as the song went “its only words but words are all I have to take your breath away”.

The  other day someone asked me why I wasn’t married again and I surprised myself with the answer that came out, “I am in a relationship with myself”. This sentence followed into a lengthy conversation where I had to point out that I had been married for 11 years and that I had gotten married way too young to know who I am. I think I have more than earned my right to find out who I am … underneath all the titles, duties, responsibilities that I have borne in life… a daughter, a wife, a mother, a student, a career woman.. who am I under all that? inside where none of these duties matter? in the deepest seat of my soul?

The second thing that I want to do this time is to enjoy the things that gives me pleasure in life. A good book is a pre-requisite, good music lifts my soul, traveling however sets me free. There’s nothing like discovering a new place, immersing myself in a new culture, the food, the people, the random conversations that take place in park benches and pubs. To sit in a public place and watch the whole world pass you… it’s an entertainment show in itself, much better than sitting in front of a telly.

I also want to hang out with my favorite people, interesting people, have stimulating conversations with completely differing viewpoints, debate the usefulness or not of some mundane random thing that has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

And here’s what I have to show for my first day off work:

I picked up “Eat, pray, love” by Elizabeth Gilbert, so far I have gotten through the 36 stories of Italy and I have to say that I am loving it. Fits me perfectly for now 🙂

I have also managed to (or at least hope to have managed to) firmly shut the door on relationships that no longer work for me. No more lingering hopes, no more what if’s, just close the door and move on. And trust me, this applies for any kind of relationship in our life. We women specially tend to hold on, linger longer, even long past the expiry dates because we buy into the false guilt of otherwise feeling like a failure. Hence the no more “what if”, its done, it’s over, move on and get a life 🙂

A picture is worth a thousand words…. courtesy of my favorite writer Paolo Coelho 🙂