The difficulties of reporting rape or assault

In a world where 1 out of 3 women/girls face sexual assault during their lifetime and 15 out of 16 assailants go free, this is what happens when a victim tries to report rape.

It’s poignant because they have replaced reporting ‘rape’ with reporting a ‘robbery’, goes to show how the system is biased against the victim and who makes the system? Our patriarchal society… yes, even out west, in the developed world, it IS the patriarchal society that makes the rules and bends them.

Below is a mom’s experience of what happened when her teenage daughter stood up to a bully in school. If it was not OK for the boy to ping the bra of his teachers… if it was not OK for the Mom to ‘suggest’ touching the front of the trouser of the f***head teacher…  it was certainly NOT OK for the teacher to ‘ignore’ the boy’s very inappropriate behaviour and suggest that the girl was in the wrong because she reacted in self-defence. Men like these, makes my blood boil and mother’s like these.. make me want to stand up and salute them with deep respect.

Was Bra-ced For A Different Reaction

| SURREY, ENGLAND, UK | BAD BEHAVIOR, BULLY, PARENTS

(I’m an A&E nurse. We’re not allowed our phones on us; they’re to be kept in our lockers. A call comes into hospital reception on a private line for me.)

Phone: “This is [Teacher] from [School]. There’s been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need you to come in.”

Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?”

Phone: “[Daughter] has struck another pupil. We’ve been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is very serious.”

(I go to the school and am ushered into the head’s office. I see my daughter, her head of year, a male teacher, the headmaster, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.)

Head: “Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!”

Me: “Yeah, things get busy in A&E. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

(After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had twanged my daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the face twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.)

Me: “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”

(They all get jittery when I mention sexual assault and start speaking at once.)

Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”

Head Of Year: “Let’s not over-react.”

Head: “I think you’re missing the point.”

(The boy’s mother then starts crying. I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.)

Daughter: “He kept pinging my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn’t, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He told me to ‘ignore it.’ [Boy] did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped.”

(I turn to the teacher.)

Me: “You let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers.”

Teacher: “What?! No!”

Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on Mrs. [Head Of Year]’s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mum’s bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”

Head: “Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still beat another child.”

Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them; he’s nearly 6 feet and 11 or 12 stone. She’s 5 feet and 6 stone. He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be bothered what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone.”

(The boy’s mum is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me. I look at the headmaster.)

Me: “I’m taking her home. I think the boy has learnt his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him do it to a member of staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the governors. And if you—” *turning to the boy* “—EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?”

(I was so angry I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors, several of whom I know from Church (it’s a Catholic school), and was assured it would be strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED (Government-run school monitoring) and they were equally as horrified and assured me they would contact the school. My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from the teacher and the boy.)”

 

What if the world turned on it’s head?

It’s all your fault

Posted on May 6, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a comment

Traditional Witchcraft and Occultism

Articles and Books About Traditional Witchcraft and the Occult

Fortuitous Forty!!!

figuring out life after 40...

Inner Whispers

Messages from Within

Tribeca Chronicles

Stories that serve the community

House of Uncommons

The uncommon perceptions, wisdom, and senses

NON STOP TRAVELLING

Travel, Adventure, Roadtrips

rennydiokno.com

global group of international organization for poverty & disable development program

Naijacarrot

finishing lives since the era of dinosaurs

Kezia Lubanszky

Digital Journalist

Tania Marie

Creating Life As A Work Of Art

ETC. Magazine

By Taylorians, For Taylorians.

How Far From Home

Freelance Photographers & Filmmakers Traveling Around The World

we hunted the mammoth

the new misogyny, tracked and mocked

Kendall Kessler Art

Original Art by Award Winning Artist Kendall Kessler

Just A Primer

Musings and other thoughts on beauty.

FOOD LAW LATEST

food safety, food law, food frauds, food recalls, food

The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

Reiki Mark Cross

Peace, happiness and relaxation

My Life

The Daily Adventures of a Single Mom

traces of orange

S M SHAHRUKH

Agro and Farming

Agriculture & Farming related NEWS, Reviews, Technologies, Products, Crops, Tips, Thoughts, Stories more...

AwayPoint

Between An Island of Certainties and the Unknown Shore

ideas.ted.com

Explore ideas worth spreading

আলাল ও দুলাল | ALAL O DULAL

আলাল যদি ডাইনে যায় দুলাল যায় বামে

hessianwithteeth

This site is all about ideas

A Narcissist Writes Letters, To Himself

A Hopefully Formerly Depressed Human Vows To Practice Self-Approval

Casey Fiesler

#computing #ethics #law #feminism #geek

leylashah2014

just another boy who wants to be a girl

The Accidental Mathematician

Because "exact science is not always exact science."

YIN NEW ZEALAND

A place for lovers of Yin and Yang to unite

Critical Dispatches

Reports from my somewhat unusual life

wellfesto

hacking health, designing life

সাদাসিধে কথা আর্কাইভ

মুহম্মদ জাফর ইকবাল এর কলামগুলোর সংগ্রহ

The Belle Jar

"Let me live, love and say it well in good sentences." - Sylvia Plath

Single Mom Spot

Strength in the Singular

Where is Shyamni?

Being Sharon. Finding Shyamni.

The Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Studies

Online Programs in the Humanities and the Social Sciences at UNCG

A Travel Blog

By Lena Desmond

TED Blog

The TED Blog shares news about TED Talks and TED Conferences.

Kindness Blog

Kindness Changes Everything

jrad47.wordpress.com/

.......is writing

Great Books of the Western World

The unexamined life is not worth living.

Just Think About It

A place for thoughts and ideas

Beating Trauma

Transcending a Childhood of Sex Abuse and Trafficking

Vincent Egoro

Vincent Egoro - Shares Personal Improvement, Love, Motivational Messages and Quotes, to inspire you to live your greatest Life...Every day!

wealthymatters

For Whom Wealth Matters