Blog Archives

Uncensored retorts


I have this collection of uncensored retorts sent in by readers and some I wish I had said myself. This is part 3, you can find part one here and part two here.


Things we would say aloud if we didn’t have to constantly filter:

  • In response to constant whiners – Who the f**k died and left you custodian of the world’s problem?
  • Procrastinators – Stop f***ing around and just get on with it already.
  • To sympathy mongers – do I look like I care? is my face not reflecting my true feelings for your problems yet?
  • To constant loaners – do I look like a bank to you? this ATM is closed, the branch is closed, in fact this bank just went out of business.
  • People who complain about food –
    • “eat up, God knows there’s enough people in the world who aren’t even getting this”.
    • If you don’t like it, why didn’t you just cook yourself?
  • Men who imply PMS’ing as the reason for female irritation
    • Nope, we just have allergic reaction to assholes.
    • That? that’s just a spontaneous reaction to your bullshit.
  • People who say things like “you have changed” in an accusatory tone:
    • I am playing by new rules now.
    • Oh yeah, my level of tolerance for your BS just hit zero.
    • Finally!
  • The minute you hit your 20’s, all your friends relationship goals are to get or stay married. Our relationship goal?
    • to be able to fart in front of my beau and I can’t wait for five years of marriage & a kid to be able to do that.
    • to eat what I want, when I want, wherever I want without worrying about getting the food on the furniture.
    • To walk around the house, naked, with my tummy sticking out without worrying about looking good to another person.
  • When people ask about relationship status –
    • in love with my bed, I can hardly wait to get back to it at the end of every day.
    • in a relationship with myself. I still haven’t figured this one out.
    • why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?
    • divorced – I finally scored the “get out of jail” card.
    • Why would I want to deliberately dedicate my life to the whims of an over-grown toddler/damsel in distress?
    • I haven’t found a NOT mama’s boy yet.
  • To so-called friends who only turn up to hold pity parties – “oh, are we holding a pity-party here? I didn’t know that. So excuse me while I freely dis-invite myself from it”.

What would you say if you didn’t have to filter out your knee-jerk reactions?


Cute things: St Bernards and babies

What a beautiful way to start the week 🙂 Beautiful dogs and babies … and as someone said, makes me want to have one of each 😉

Stuck in a meeting… falling asleep?

Then you need this 😀 Just try not to grin too much or laugh out loud 😉

Traditional Witchcraft and Occultism

Articles and Books about Traditional Witchcraft and the Occult

Fortuitous Forty!!!

figuring out life after 40...

Inner Whispers

Messages from Within

Triangle Below Canal Street

Don't Sleep On This

House of Uncommons

The uncommon perceptions, wisdom, and senses


Travel, Adventure, Roadtrips

Attila Ovari

Loving Life and Inspiring Others

global group of international organization for poverty & disable development program


finishing lives since the era of dinosaurs

Kezia Lubanszky

Writer, Editor, Bridget Jones Enthusiast

Tania Marie

Creating Life As A Work Of Art With A Magick Rabbit By My Side

How Far From Home

Freelance Photographers & Filmmakers Traveling Around The World

we hunted the mammoth

the new misogyny, tracked and mocked

The Paranormal Housewife

Your All American Housewife With A Twist

Kendall Kessler Art

Original Art by Award Winning Artist Kendall Kessler

Just A Primer

Musings and other thoughts on beauty.


food safety, food law, food frauds, food recalls, food

The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

Reiki Mark Cross

Peace, happiness and relaxation

My Life

The Daily Adventures of a Single Mom

traces of orange


Agro and Farming

A Blog about Agriculture and Farming related NEWS, Reviews, Technologies, Products, Crops, Tips, Thoughts, Stories and lots . . .


Between An Island of Certainties and the Unknown Shore

Explore ideas worth spreading


This site is all about ideas

A Narcissist Writes Letters, To Himself

A Hopefully Formerly Depressed Human Vows To Practice Self-Approval

Casey Fiesler

#academia #internet #law #feminism #geek


just another boy who wants to be a girl

The Accidental Mathematician

Because "exact science is not always exact science."


A place for lovers of Yin and Yang to unite

Critical Dispatches

Reports from my somewhat unusual life


hacking health, designing life

সাদাসিধে কথা আর্কাইভ

মুহম্মদ জাফর ইকবাল এর কলামগুলোর সংগ্রহ

The Belle Jar

"Let me live, love and say it well in good sentences." - Sylvia Plath

Single Mom Spot

Strength in the Singular

Where is Shyamni?

Being Sharon; finding Shyamni...

The Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Studies

Online Programs in the Humanities and the Social Sciences at UNCG

A Travel Blog

By Lena Desmond

TED Blog

The TED Blog shares interesting news about TED, TED Talks video, the TED Prize and more.

Kindness Blog

Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Quotes, Personal Reflections and Meditations.

Great Books of the Western World

The unexamined life is not worth living.

Just Think About It

A place for thoughts and ideas

Beating Trauma

Transcending a Childhood of Sex Abuse and Trafficking

%d bloggers like this: