Death is inevitable. A fact of life. Yet every time someone close to my age passes away, it shakes me to my core. It makes me question everything.
This time, I am questioning ‘why her?’ She’s a beautiful person, inside out, loving, caring, a gentle soul. In love with her husband, excitedly waiting for the arrival of her child. So why now? why her? why this baby who is wanted so much? and so lovingly?
Part of me is angry at the injustice of it all. The part that questions ‘why?’
Part of me is weeping at the loss of two beautiful souls.
Part of me is praying for the family left behind, may they find the strength to bear this unbearable loss.
And out of this reminder of how short life really is, part of me is thinking ‘if I die tomorrow, will I die happy with my life?’ Have I done everything that I want to do? Have I lived a life of no regret? Have I lived while I am still alive?
Since this is a question that I ask myself quite frequently, the answer is a resounding ‘yes’. If I die right now, right here, there will be no regrets. I have built myself a good life, I have tried to do good, I have done my best to give back – to my family, friends and others.
There’s only one nagging irritation somewhere in the back of my head – for far too long – I have allowed myself to care about people who are more concerned about what they want, what would make their life easy & keep them happy, then what’s good for me. I guess the time to do some spring cleaning is long overdue.