Growing is painful

Last year in January, I declared that I am challenging myself to grow. The challenge initially felt like I was biting off more than I can chew and I huffed and puffed and ruminated over it until I realized that what I was experiencing is growing pain. My challenge to myself to grow beyond my own comfort zones was bound to bring on a bit of that. My university classes are from 6 pm to 9 pm and after putting in 8 hours at work, it gets difficult to keep up the energy to actively participate in class. On the other hand, I am finding my subjects so interesting that I hardly realize how time flies.

The commitment to keep growing sometimes feels like trying to carry a mountain, there are times I am tempted to put it down, permanently. Yet here I am .. sloughing right through it all… carrying on. “Cannot” is a word that I refuse to keep in my dictionary.  I don’t give myself the option of saying that I can’t do something. I expand and challenge myself to grow by constantly pushing my boundaries/limitations. And partly the reason I don’t use “cannot” is my continuous effort to keep motivating myself to be better than yesterday.

I had an ex-colleague who was in a difficult career path.. he motivated himself by loudly repeating “I love my job” 3 times several times a day. It allowed him to deal with the day-to-day stuff that would’ve easily unmotivated him IF he had allowed it to. Instead he chose to use these 3 empowering words.

The power of words, self-motivation and the vibe we send out to the universe… should never be underestimated. Each and everyone of us has the power to shine, to be the best possible version of ourselves. We don’t need someone else’s permission to do what is right for ourselves. The tyranny of the cousins must be realized for what it is and left right there. We are not here to live to by someone else’s rules & regulations. We are here to live our own unique life the best way we can.  But the growth seems to always comes with pain.
So here I am growing, feeling the pain, stretching and accommodating. Word press reminds me that I need to find the time to write even when life gets in the way. It’s not that the words have dried up, they are just being replaced by new ones that I am learning every day.

Posted on January 21, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Hi Arman, I’ve not commented in a while, but I was really struck by this post, and I appreciate the reminder! I’m realizing I have more going on than I wanted to deal with inside, but if I want my life to change, I have to deal with my mood disorder, which might mean taking medication.
    I’m glad to read of you striving for where you want to go & taking steps to get there! Cheers, chica! 🙂 xo


    • At certain points in my life, I have been on medication. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to find the right combination that helps you get back to being ‘you’ but it’s totally worth it 🙂

      To be very honest, I don’t really know where I want to go, but I do know, that I don’t want to be stuck where I am, so this is a journey, of self-discovery. I don’t know if the journey will ever end but it’s one hell of a journey to be on 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Fortuitous Forty!!!

figuring out life after 40...

Inner Whispers

Messages from Within

Triangle Below Canal Street

Don't Sleep On This

House of Uncommons

The uncommon perceptions, wisdom, and senses


Travel, Adventure, Roadtrips

Attila Ovari

Loving Life and Inspiring Others

global group of international organization for poverty & disable development program


finishing lives since the era of dinosaurs

Kezia Lubanszky

Writer, Editor, Bridget Jones Enthusiast

Tania Marie's Blog

Creating Life as a Work of Art

How Far From Home

Freelance Photographers & Filmmakers Traveling Around The World

we hunted the mammoth

the new misogyny, tracked and mocked

Southern Ohana

Southern Ohana

Kendall Kessler Art

Original Art by Award Winning Artist Kendall Kessler

Just A Primer

Musings and other thoughts on beauty.


food safety, food law, food frauds, food recalls, food

The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

Reiki Mark Cross

Peace, happiness and relaxation

My Life

The Daily Adventures of a Single Mom

traces of orange


Agro and Farming

A Blog about Agriculture and Farming related NEWS, Reviews, Technologies, Products, Crops, Tips, Thoughts, Stories and lots . . .


Between An Island of Certainties and the Unknown Shore

Explore ideas worth spreading


This site is all about ideas

A Narcissist Writes Letters, To Himself

A Hopefully Formerly Depressed Human Vows To Practice Self-Approval

Casey Fiesler

#academia #internet #law #feminism #geek


just another boy who wants to be a girl

The Accidental Mathematician

Because "exact science is not always exact science."


A place for lovers of Yin and Yang to unite

Critical Dispatches

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram @RichyDispatch

Affairs News

The mouthpiece of the Minorities in Bangladesh


hacking health, designing life

সাদাসিধে কথা আর্কাইভ

মুহম্মদ জাফর ইকবাল এর কলামগুলোর সংগ্রহ

The Belle Jar

"Let me live, love and say it well in good sentences." - Sylvia Plath

Single Mom Spot

Strength in the Singular

Where is Shyamni?

Being Sharon; finding Shyamni...


Quartz is a digitally native news outlet for the new global economy.

The Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Studies

Online Programs in the Humanities and the Social Sciences at UNCG

A Travel Blog

By Lena Desmond

TED Blog

The TED Blog shares interesting news about TED, TED Talks video, the TED Prize and more.

Kindness Blog

Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Quotes, Personal Reflections and Meditations.

The Only Way Is Dhaka!

Daily blog of an Englishwoman (married to a Bangladeshi) living in Dhaka, Bangladesh....

%d bloggers like this: