Growing is painful

Last year in January, I declared that I am challenging myself to grow. The challenge initially felt like I was biting off more than I can chew and I huffed and puffed and ruminated over it until I realized that what I was experiencing is growing pain. My challenge to myself to grow beyond my own comfort zones was bound to bring on a bit of that. My university classes are from 6 pm to 9 pm and after putting in 8 hours at work, it gets difficult to keep up the energy to actively participate in class. On the other hand, I am finding my subjects so interesting that I hardly realize how time flies.

The commitment to keep growing sometimes feels like trying to carry a mountain, there are times I am tempted to put it down, permanently. Yet here I am .. sloughing right through it all… carrying on. “Cannot” is a word that I refuse to keep in my dictionary.  I don’t give myself the option of saying that I can’t do something. I expand and challenge myself to grow by constantly pushing my boundaries/limitations. And partly the reason I don’t use “cannot” is my continuous effort to keep motivating myself to be better than yesterday.

I had an ex-colleague who was in a difficult career path.. he motivated himself by loudly repeating “I love my job” 3 times several times a day. It allowed him to deal with the day-to-day stuff that would’ve easily unmotivated him IF he had allowed it to. Instead he chose to use these 3 empowering words.

The power of words, self-motivation and the vibe we send out to the universe… should never be underestimated. Each and everyone of us has the power to shine, to be the best possible version of ourselves. We don’t need someone else’s permission to do what is right for ourselves. The tyranny of the cousins must be realized for what it is and left right there. We are not here to live to by someone else’s rules & regulations. We are here to live our own unique life the best way we can.  But the growth seems to always comes with pain.
So here I am growing, feeling the pain, stretching and accommodating. Word press reminds me that I need to find the time to write even when life gets in the way. It’s not that the words have dried up, they are just being replaced by new ones that I am learning every day.
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Posted on January 21, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Hi Arman, I’ve not commented in a while, but I was really struck by this post, and I appreciate the reminder! I’m realizing I have more going on than I wanted to deal with inside, but if I want my life to change, I have to deal with my mood disorder, which might mean taking medication.
    I’m glad to read of you striving for where you want to go & taking steps to get there! Cheers, chica! 🙂 xo

    Like

    • At certain points in my life, I have been on medication. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to find the right combination that helps you get back to being ‘you’ but it’s totally worth it 🙂

      To be very honest, I don’t really know where I want to go, but I do know, that I don’t want to be stuck where I am, so this is a journey, of self-discovery. I don’t know if the journey will ever end but it’s one hell of a journey to be on 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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