Resolutions: It’s not just for the new year
I originally wrote this post in 2013, titled “Advice to my younger self” ….. never posted it but as I look over the advice, I think I would stick to them even now. So that’s what’s going on my New Year Resolution list for 2015 and all the years to come 🙂
Looking back, if I could set a map, a personalized guide for my life and myself, these are the markers / advice that I would’ve given to my younger self:
1. People will come and go – let them.
Some people will come as lessons, some as blessings. Take what is good, leave what is bad. Do not try to hold on to people when they leave. They leave because their part in your story is over. Their leaving creates space in your life for others to come in.
2. No experience is good or bad – it is what you make of it.
No matter what situation you find yourself in, it cannot be only good or only bad. It has both. Take what is good for you, leave the rest. A situation will never completely resolve and you will find yourself creating the same circle of karmic path, until you have learnt the lesson from it. Once you have learnt your lesson, you will find that you have embarked on a new cycle. The old will be done, the new will start.
3. Evolution is acceptable.
As people and situations will teach you new lessons, you will find yourself evolving into a different person. Don’t fight the evolution. Enjoy it. Every time you change, you become more open to new things and new learnings. Don’t worry about becoming hardened. A good quality samurai sword is folded over 15 times, creating up to 32,768 layers. You are the same, train your mind, keep adding layers. True power is psycho-physical – train your mind and body to accept new challenges. Keep moving forward.
4. There is more to life than making A+ grade on your studies.
Studying is good but it is also a life long habit. What grade you get is not as important as how well you understand the subject you are studying. There is more to life than bookish education. Learn new things, pick up more hobbies. Explore your options in your other creative fields. There is no limit to what you can do, so do not feel the need to draw limits either.
5. Do not worry about making money, worry about finding your passion.
You will always make money, that is something that you do not have to worry about. Rather worry about finding and creating for yourself work in which you find passion. Anything that you do with sincerity and passion will also bring monetary rewards. So do not worry about financial gain from your activities. Instead explore the activities you enjoy doing and do them well. Jack of all trades, master of none, is not always true. A true master must be versatile and flexible.
6. What people think is none of your business.
People will think whatever they want to think of you – that is none of your business. You should worry more about what you think of yourself, what you want for yourself. Let people change their minds a thousand times a day. None of your business. What is your business is how often you change your own life for the better and how you can change your loved one’s life for the best.
7. Help when you can, as much as you can, but never at the expense of yourself.
You cannot help others, when you can’t help yourself. Always give back as much as you can. The more you have, the more it is your responsibility to give back to the universe. But ensure that it is never at the expense of yourself or those to whom you have a greater responsibility.
8. It is ok to have boundaries and warn people when they cross them.
You do not have to feel guilty about not wanting to be a rug that people can walk all over and take advantage of. When you feel people crossing the line, stop and warn them. In discharging your responsibility and duty to others, do not forget that you owe yourself first. Respect, honor and be kind to yourself.
9. Learning is a life long process.
Seek out the best. In any subject that you want to learn, seek out the one’s who are already successful in that field and learn from them. Learning is a multiple process – apprenticeship, service, observation, conversation – all of these and more can lead to learning. A single conversation with a wise person is worth more than 10 years of studying. Good judgement will come from experience and experience will come from bad judgements. So forgive yourself for the mistakes you make but do not forget the lessons you learn from them. “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” Aristotle.
10. No matter how much you want to change others, you can’t. The only one you can change is yourself.
No matter how much you hold another person’s best interest in your heart, what is good for them is for them to decide. You cannot change, dictate, advice, coach someone else to achieve more than they are capable of achieving, more than they are capable of being. People grow at different rates, they understand things at different levels. No one has to be like you and you do not have to be like anyone else. As Galileo said “you cannot teach a person anything; you can only help them find it within themselves”.
11. Life is for living, enjoy it.
Buy anything but guilt trips. You are unique, your needs are unique. The only person you have to be is yourself. Do not let others guilt trip you into something else. Life is made for living and loving; death is inevitable for everyone; so live while you are still alive like everyday is your last. Ask yourself everyday whether this is what you want to do with your life? if the answer is ‘no’ for too many days in a row; its time to rethink what you are doing kiddo.