Truth is not easy

Even though I have failed to keep up with my blogging, I have tried to stay abreast on the news of my blogging community. I followed one of their post to this blog:

A beautiful young woman, full of humor and life who also struggled with the truth of the darkness that existed in her life, that touched her and marked her forever. She suffered from DID (dissociative identity disorder) and ultimately took to blogging to write down the thoughts that were running on train tracks around her head. She was sorting herself out. She seemed to be on the road to recovery. Then she suffered a set-back and faced condemnation from the very blogging community who had supported her. She silenced her voice, stopped blogging and ultimately she chose to end her suffering by ending her life.

Suicide is not a popular choice but it is an intensely personal one. It is not a choice that a person makes lightly. Most people who commit suicide successfully have records of having made unsuccessful attempts at least once or more times before. These behaviors – they are a cry for help, for someone to understand, for someone or something to take the pain away. It is an attempt to find relief from a pain that is intense, constant and can’t be borne anymore. It may be born from deep despair, depression or such adversity that can’t be changed or faced anymore.

Another blog that I stumbled on is:

This blogger too is trying to face the condition with humor, with truth and honesty about everything that is going inside this person.

It is not easy. Truth is not easy. It is easier to avert our eyes from abuse. It is easier to ignore the statistics that says that 5-6 child out of every 10, will face abuse at some stage of their childhood. It is easier to ignore that half of these kids will be boys. It is easier to ignore the timid pleas of a child that wants to stay out of range of particular adults in his/her circle, because really how could that nice uncle, grandfather, neighbour possibly be a child abuser.

We let the abusers off the hook every time we avert our eyes. Everytime we fail to protect a child we let another scarred human being walk alone in this lifetime. No amount of therapy or drugs will erase the horrors that will be faced over a lifetime. Some will survive but most will at some point in time decide to end their life to end the torture that life becomes.

This subject, these blogs and their bloggers, they shook me to my very core. They made me incredibly sad and angry at the same time. I wish I could hug each one of them and tell them “don’t give up. don’t let the abuser win. don’t be a victim. don’t think that this has to end this way”. But I can’t. All I can do is be there with supportive comments, helpful advice if any, or just be there to show that I do care.

Mental health issues and their causes are not easy subjects to discuss. Normally I would stay away from blogging about this at all on this particular blog, but as part of my new year’s resolution, I need to let my worlds collide. To shove each other around and see where and how the puzzle pieces would fit together to build the whole picture. I lost 2 of my best friends to suicide and while their stories are not mine to share, their losses shook me to the core and made me question a lot of things that I had taken for granted till then. Life taught me, showed me, that reasons that I did not understand before are perfectly valid and logical (and yes that includes reasons to commit suicide) under certain circumstances, they even become inevitable.

to be a kind and generous person, be kind and open in your acceptance of others


Posted on January 31, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Sometimes there are situations that happen that are beyond explanation…The story very complex…but it doesn’t change the fact that a young woman did feel ‘judged’…No one can alter that fact… and did in fact take her own life.

    Mental illness from abuse or for any other reason needs to be understood still more…It is being talked about more but there still are stigmas…I have been in the darkness of mental illness …not from abuse but from depression and sometimes the thought of suicide seems to permeate your very soul….and sometimes there are those who just can’t fight it anymore… Diane


    • Very true Diane. Just admitting to mental problems is a problem. Most people don’t understand and there seems to be this unspoken thing about not discussing these problems.

      A colleague of mine suffered from post-partum depression and she couldn’t talk about it because everyone else around her was telling that she should be happy.

      It’s hard enough to talk about depression or suicidal thoughts but then for your concerns to be brushed off.. that’s just sad.


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