Beware of whose advice you take
I was watching Grey’s anatomy last night and for the past 2 episodes Meredith has been asking Cristina‘s advice on what she should do about Derek. Cristina thinks that their rekindled relationship is not going to work and visits Meredith’s shrink to tell her that SHE should be the one to tell Meredith that it’s not going to work. The shrink’s response caught both me and Cristina off guard. She listened to her and after a pause said “I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you to lose Meredith to Derek”.
That sentence alone, summed up the situation. Cristina doesn’t have a problem with Derek and she loves Meredith. But at this particular point of time in her life, she only really has Meredith to rely on and she obviously doesn’t want to lose her. So while neither she nor Meredith catches on to the fact that her advice/opinion is NOT impartial or in Meredith’s best interest, the shrink, being an outsider and an impartial experienced professional goes right to a point that Cristina did not like or want to admit.
We all have a tendency to give advice, whether it is solicited or not. When confused, we also tend to ask for advice. Thing is – we should be careful whose advice we ask for and how we use that advice. My personal motto is to take advice from experts in the field. If I want career advice, I would go search for a guru/expert in the area of work I want to succeed in and ask for his/her advice on what I should do to get to where this person already is. Same for relationship advice, I would ask a person who I know is successfully maintaining bonds of relationship. This is essentially what having a “mentor” means. You can have several “mentors” who will guide your path with experienced advice to help you achieve your goal.
If you are a rookie, don’t look to your peers to guide your path. They are as lost as you are and can only guide you so much on the right path. While your best friend has your best interest in their heart, they might not have the experience to relate to your situation or give you the correct advice. My next statement is going to be an unpopular one – even your parents may not have the best advice for you. Their advice will be biased by their life experience, the limitation or death of their aspirations & dreams and their expectation from you. So please, beware of who you take your advice from. Choose your advisors as carefully as you would choose your field of education or career or your future spouse.
When you have received advice, take it with a grain of salt. No two situations are the same and neither will be the remedies. People are not a one size fit all cutouts. If you listen to your inner wisdom, your soul will tell you which remedy will work for you. If you are not in touch with your inner self, you just might find yourself drifting through life like a rudderless boat, going wherever the wind takes you. So when you are trying to decide on something, by all means, take everyone’s advice but at the end of the day, sit down and talk to yourself, your own soul, your own dreams/aspirations and then embark on the course of action that best fits your destination. Remember, no matter what you do, some people will always find a fault with what you will choose. Choose anyway, just remember its your life that will be affected by your choices. So you might as well do it all and if things go wrong, then you have no one else to blame but yourself. But most importantly, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you ran your life the way you wanted to. Kinda like driving your own car to your own chosen destination.
Now go ahead … start making some choices 🙂