Video: Are You a Whiner? IT’S NOT HELPING!
The least attractive of all features in any professional – whining. Not only do whiners find something to complain about in everything but they successfully put a damper on any team’s spirit. If you are in the work force or planning to enter one, you will face quite a few and the coping tactics outlined by Marie Wetmore are quite effective. Her points are briefly outlined below, follow the link to her blog to read more here:
1. Research shows that whining is the MOST ANNOYING SOUND, OF ALL SOUNDS.Makes sense to me, some people’s whining is like nails on a chalkboard.
But there’s more: it’s distracting, it brings down the mood of everyone within earshot, and, as I mentioned before, it keeps you stuck in your problem.
Please don’t ignore these points. Whining is a habit, which means you can change it. Switching from a “complaining perspective” to an “action perspective” puts you back into position of power in your life.
2. David Cunningham suggests ignoring other people whining, just letting it go. He says that if they repeat the same issue and over and over again, ask what they can do about it. I agree with this partially. However, you can also use nonviolent communication.
In that case you describe the behavior concretely (“I noticed you keep saying that you don’t like all this heat,”). Then describe how it impacts you (“You may not realize this, but it’s pretty distracting and I’d really like to focus on my work”). Then ask for a change, “Would you mind venting about it privately?”).
Or you could ask how they can fix the problem (“It’s clearly bothering you. What needs to happen to fix it?”).
So you can see you have two options. The first option is to simply ignore the problem and then eventually ask how they can take action. The second option is to articulate how it affects you.
The reason I suggest articulating how it affects you is because you do have the right to let people know how their behavior impacts you. Use your discretion as to which one is most effective, but I do want to empower you to advocate for yourself, if that makes sense.
3. Set aside 10 min. a day for venting. I agree with this – BUT ONLY IF YOU NEED IT. For example, you can coach yourself not to complain in the moment, and give yourself permission to vent about it for 10 min. later that evening.
It’s more effective to keep a gratitude journal on a daily basis, when you reserve time for looking for the positive in your life. If you really need to vent, go ahead and do it for 10 min., and then follow it up with some gratitude journaling. This will shift your energy back to the positive and increase your mood.
4. Possibly see a psychologist. Please take this advice with a grain of salt. You might end up seeing a psychologist when a life coach is a more appropriate option.