How A Plane Crash Changed One Man’s Life Forever (Ted.com Video)
This got me thinking a lot. I changed how I live and what I do and the choices that I make on a daily basis after a near death experience this January. I find myself affirming those choices every single day. Somedays I have to work harder at it, somedays its a lot easier.
To paraphrase… what works is this “eliminating negative energy”. What doesn’t make me a better person, or brings out the worst in me, is NOT what I want to have around me anymore. “I no longer choose to be right, I choose to be happy”. Just that statement alone, that realization and working towards this scenerio is enough for me to root out a lot of ‘suppose to’s’… if its not making me happy, I don’t care what I am suppose to do, I am not doing it.
After my son was born and I still had to go back to full time work and life just got too overwhelming at time…. the question that kept me sane is “am I going to remember this 6 hours from now? 6 days or 6 months from now?” If the answer was ‘no’ then I simply resolved not to bother about it. It helped me to cut down on a lot of stress, a lot of unhappiness and focus a lot more on the things that really mattered to me and my life.
As a mom I also started to make a lot of different choices in life… the questions that I then asked myself was “what would I tell my son if he asked me about this?” whatever the ‘this’ was… the answer was what I needed. It got me through graduate school (finally), it got me climbing the corporate ladder (finally), it got me through the end of a 11 year marriage, the extremely painful subsequent divorce with flying colors (not emotionally). What I am trying to say I guess is that while my son is my biggest weakness, he is also my strength. He is the reason of why I hold myself up to a higher standard. If I wouldn’t accept ‘this’ for my son, if it wasn’t good enough for him then it wasn’t good enough for me. He is not going to learn by listening to what I have to say. He is going to learn by watching me do things, regardless of whether I say them or not. He will learn by example and my whole life is an example to him. What am I teaching him with my words, my actions, my choices, the things I put up with and the things I refuse to accept? I like to think that I am laying a positive ground work for him to grow up to … I want him to know that he has to make the choices that are right for him, regardless of what other people, society or even me think about it because end of the day, its his life and he has the right to LIVE it LARGE.
I have also had to live through the death of 3 of my favorite people, up close and personal. What I realized then was that yes, pain can push you to the point where dying is easier than living. But what I also realized is that life is a gift and you never know when it will end, live while you are still alive instead of dying a little death every day.